Monday, September 20, 2010

No, that's not a bindi on her forehead in the picture - that's Poo. (Summer 2010 ~ Part 2)

Ok, so where were we?
......... and that's when the REAL chaos began......

"Latoya! Quit scratching your head.... what's wrong with you? Come here.... Oh my Lord!!!!! Please tell me I'm seeing things..... not now, not at a time like this...... The Teenager with a post-op infection on her way to the hospital, six other kiddlings underfoot but trying to be helpful in preparing the house for an open house and now THIS! Could it really be lice? Maybe I was seeing things..... come here kiddo, let me have a look. Oh good golly! "Where did this come from?!"  I holler to no one in particular. "KIDS!!! COME IN HERE PLEASE!"
I grab my desk lamp and begin the intense search through each head of hair looking for the ever illusive louse. As I checked each mop of hair I breathed a sigh of relief. Only one child had it... how is that even possible? All the adults flew into action. My Hubby immediately ran out to the pharmacy in search of lice shampoo (which there seemed to be a shortage of - the pharmacist said it was "going around") then took the Teenager to the hospital to have her infection looked after. Grandma rounded up the other children and put them to work on chores to prepare the house for the Open House while she stripped beds, gathered combs, brushes, hair clips and stuffed animals and the like and headed off to start laundry. While I set up my lamp at my makeshift nit picking station...... little did I know I would spend more than three days at this gruelling task.  Latoya has hair and plenty of it. She has long thick hair that flows down her back to her bottom and cutting that hair (even because of lice) was NOT an option for me. Did I mention she is my drama queen and noramally cries and fusses over just having her hair brushed on a daily basis?This was NOT going to be a pretty sight. I was already a little stressed due to summer vacation and having the house over run with wild kids high on sugar (Thanks Grandma!) and then with having to care for my Teenage cripple - but a lice invasion on the kid with the longest hair in the house was almost more than I could bear. Praise God for Grandma's. Between her and my Husband the other six children were taken care of. I thought they were a little hard on them and must have scared them into not coming near our "nit picking station" but I realized after seeing a few of them scurry through the kitchen looking back over their shoulders that it was not the lice they were afraid of - it was that crazy woman with the wild look in her eyes mumbling things incoherently while hunched over the sobbing child on the counter pulling out her hair strand by strand. Not only had the lice set up residence in their sister's hair, those little creepy crawlies had also taken away their loving mother and changed her into something strange..... her only language was sighing, growling and occassional crying. Powerful little bugs.
Three days later the nit picking was finished. I did a thourough inspection of Latoya's head looking for any foreign critters, Latoya looked up at me and whined "I don't WANT all these tiny eggs - I only like big eggs anyway - like from birds and chickens."
I hardly recognized myself by the time we were through. My back and shoulders ached, my eyes couldn't focus and my finger tips were raw and painful. I found myself behaving much like an ape whenever I walked past a head of hair - I just couldn't stop myself - I had to pick through and do a quick search. "Just checking" I'd sing.
On Sunday morning with one final "head check" the nighmare was over! I couldn't wait to get to church. I was so exhausted and I needed to get out of the house. Chaos consumed the morning and finally all kiddlings were at the table eating breakfast - except the baby..... who was unusually quiet upstairs........
I went up to get her for breakfast and was horrified at what I encountered....
"Ewwww" she said, holding up her hands ( that closely resembled chocolate dipped ice cream cones from Dairy Queen) The darling Baby had been exploring her creative side (apparently that's her back side) and had painted her crib and reachable walls with POO. Ewww is right. So much for my escape to church this morning.... looks like I'll be staying home to bathe the stinky little one and then sterilize the bedroom :(     *No, that's not a bindi on her forehead in the picture ... .that's Poo.*
So later that night we had stew for supper. When I walked into the dining room I saw my little darling Baby playing in her food. She had it smeared across the table and was poking at it saying "Ewwww!" I suspect it looked too familiar to her. She refused to eat it, not even one bite. She turned her head away and made a face and said "Ewwww."
This is usually the place where I add "Here are a few funnies from our house to yours." I have a treat.... when we (my sibs and I) were little my mother used to keep a book where she jotted down funny things we said and did. When she came to help out last week she brought that book with her! For the next few posts I am going to include some of these "funnies" for your reading pleasure. I hope you enjoy them just as much as I do.
Here are a few funnies from Grandma's archives:
Bunner = butter as in peanut butter
Boneys = small strips of ham
Dip Eggs = fried egg - you dip toast in it
Unders = underpants
Under Arrest = taking a nap under a blanket
Marbles = bits of hamburg, rolled
Sheep Dip = sour cream
Patakiller = caterpillar
Beatlers = beaters - as in "Can I lick the cake mix off the beatlers?"
Quack = is what a quack says and Quack is french for duck.
Pipi has "feathers" on his chest! (Hair)
Annette thought she lost her "patakiller" and she looked down on the floor and "Prisco!" (presto) There it was!
Prejudice is when you get big and fat and you have a baby.
Crunch - ga - munkies = Capt'n Crunch Cereal
Soldiers = strips of toast with butter and cheese. When you have no cheese the soldiers are bare naked.
Cloam = is that nice smelling stuff Melissa likes that Daddy puts on after he shaves (Men's cologne)
Dimes = hot dogs sliced in circles.
Just a reminder that the next AVON order will be placed on Tuesday September 28th - contact me if there's anything you would like me to get for you!

Have an incredible week!

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