Monday, September 9, 2013

"OH LOOK! He's having babies on my fries!"

I was sitting in a local restaurant with Grandma, the Teenager, and The Baby. The sun was shining brightly through the window blinds, warming up the table top while we waited for our lunch to be served.  The baby was happily feasting on her french fries that had already arrived when I noticed an all too familiar sight. There was a fly buzzing around the table and it kept landing on her fries. The Baby thinks that all flies are her friends. She has ALWAYS believed this, from as far back as I can remember. They seem to follow her everywhere (especially in her earlier years when she always smelled like poop)  So, flies are her friends and she often gets upset when we swat them away. She gets down right nasty when we pull the fly swatter out! "Don't kill it!" she yells "he's my friend, he loves me."
There is one fly in particular who travels in the van with us, he sits on the ceiling near the Baby's car seat and she talks to it like it's her best buddy.  Anyway, in the restaurant this "friendly fly" kept landing on her french fries. I swatted at it to shoo it away. "Don't kill it!" she yelled loudly as everyone turned to look at us. "Don't let him land on your food baby." I reasoned with her. A few minutes later she squealed with delight. "OH LOOK! He's having babies on my fries!" My eyes grew wide as I stared at my Teenager next to me. 'Oh look it - there's one..." the Baby cooed.  Oh dear Lord! If it wouldn't have been too obvious I would have crawled under the table right there to escape the scrutinizing stares of the restaurant patrons. "Alright girls," I managed "it's time to go!"

~ Here's a Few Funnies From our House to Yours ~ 
* "Aunt Kim drives an ambiance" says the baby.

* "Was that a BJ?" asked the Baby. "That WAS a BJ!" She squealed. (found out later a BJ is a blue jay, Oh silly Mama)

*The Baby just finished brushing her teeth. "Smell my BRESS (haaaaaa, she suddenly breathes in my face) it don't stinks, it smells tasty!" she states.

*Nicholas was learning about 'political parties of Canada' at school. On his paper he wrote: John A Macdonald, 1815-1891, Conservative Party. Then he looked up at me in all seriousness and asked "Mom, did John A Macdonald have a farm?"

*Grandma had been rubbing The baby's belly on the couch. The baby was appreciative but a little concerned. "Grandma your hands are all ripped up." she informed her. (rough and dry)

*Grandma and the Baby were sitting on the couch together. When Grandma would stretch or move her ankles would crack or her neck would crack. Grandma claimed it was her "old bones." The Baby became alarmed and said "I have calcium chews for strong bones, I don't want to be Grandma."

*At the dinner table on night the Baby exclaimed "I have lots of broccoli in my bum .... I smell it"

*Daddy was sitting in his chair without a shirt on. The Baby began giggling and pointed at daddy. "I see you boobies! You got little boobies like me and Grandma!"

*While doing homework Daniel proudly exclaimed " I got Emma's phone number today." Nicholas looked at him with a weird expression on his face and countered "Why do you want a GIRL'S phone number? That's just creepy!"

* I overheard some of my kiddos singing a song rather loudly in the kitchen "save a horse, ride a cowboy...." The Nicholas hollered to me and asked "Mom, what does that even mean? Why do you want to save a horse and how can you ride a cowboy?!?"
~Subscribers Stories~
Do you have a funny or cute story to share? Want to have it included in our Subscribers Stories section of our Fish Bowl? Just email me your story and I'll have it included in a future edition of The Fish Bowl. Please include your name and email address with all submissions.

* I just told the kids they could go visit our elderly neighbour down the street. Nick says "I am surprised she's still alive" Gabby says "Don't you know people who are really nice live for a long time?" Nick says "It doesn't mean they are nice, they are just healthy!"

Submitted by Veronica A. Windsor, Ontario

* Penelope (our cat) is in constant heat. The kids ask why she makes that noise and is always rubbing against things? I just nicely tell them that its because she wants to have babies. They have adapted and move on.

Today she was being particularly affectionate toward the 24 box of KD, and purring like crazy to which Harley replies "No Pennel, you cannot have Kraft Dinner babies. You won't know if you should eat them or love them."
Submitted by Roxanne Lock Chatham, Ontario

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