Wednesday, June 8, 2011
"Hey Mom..... why did the chicken cross the road?"
I grabbed the lifeless bird from the water and layed her on the ground. "Well that's a shame, she was a good chicken" I said to the Teen. "I am NOT eating that chicken!" she shrieked. "Of course not," I replied. "We'll bury her after we're done here." Just then I noticed some movement in the chicken's eye lids. Her eyes seemed to be moving around under her closed eyelids. I picked up the bird and checked for signs of life. None. She was stiff and cold and soaked right through. I held her legs in one hand and grasped her body in the other and swung her through the air, head down, to extract the water from her lungs. She opened an eye .... then closed it again. "Grab me a towel!" I shouted to the Teen as I made my way toward the house. We wrapped Penny in a towel and attempted to dry her off and get her warm. She was still lifeless and cold when we put her on a heating pad on the shelf in the diningroom.
"Please, please, please don't tell any local farmers about this...... we would be the laughing stock of the farming community if people knew we did all this for 'a chicken' (heating pad, oxygen, blow dryer, etc) " requested my husband.
As sick as it sounds (now that I see it in type) we all sat down to dinner only a foot or two away from the perishing poultry. As we ate dinner (OH MY LORD - WE ATE CHICKEN THAT NIGHT!) there was a commotion coming from within the box. Some flopping and bumping around .... and then silence. "Well, that's the end then I think" I broke the silence "We'll bury her after supper" I said to no one in particular.
Come morning time I was anxious to check on our death-defying chicken. Sure enough Penny was awake and alert and looking forward to getting out of the confines of the crate she was in. We were all thrilled that she had made a complete recovery over night! I carried her out back to the hen house and let her out on the grass. The other hens were happy to see her. Penny walked right over to her water dish and drank, and drank, and drank..... she stood there for a long time just drinking..... so odd when you consider she drowned in a water bucket the day before. But that's how things are around our place..... ODD AND UNUSUAL :)
Kiddling: "Hey Mom..... why did the chicken cross the road?"
Mom: "I don't know... but I'm sure you're gonna tell me...."
Kiddling: " 'Cause she wanted a drink of water!"
Here are a few funnies from our house to yours:
* Grandma Windsor took a phone message for me while I was out. When I came back in she relayed the message to me. "Pamela called from the Children's Treatment Centre, Nicholas has an appointment for a URINE TEST, please call her back to confirm." she said. "What?" I said aloud and shook my head. "Oh you mean a HEARING TEST! He is due for his HEARING test.... maybe you should join us for that Grandma?"
* The Teenager often cuts it close in the morning, barely making it to the end of the driveway to catch her bus on time. One morning it was ten to seven and she was casually brushing her hair. She looked out the window and yelled "My bus!" in a panic. She rushed to the garage to gather her things. "I don't have a lunch!" she calls in exasperation. I grabbed two sandwiches off the counter and popped them into the tupperware sandwich keepers and shoved them at her. The Teenager picked up her bags, looked for her shoes.... "I can't find my shoes!" she cried out excitedly "Where are they?" she said, panic rising in her voice. As the garage door rolls upward to open she ducks under it and dashes down the driveway yelling "My Bus! My Bus!" running and hollering over her shoulder "I don't have a coat!" I reached for her jacket, prepared to run down the driveway after her (in my PJ's) then suddenly she stopped....... her shoulders slumped and her head hung down. She turns to look my way and in a small voice says "it was just a transport truck."
* One morning as I brushed my teeth my bridge broke and fell out of my mouth - along with my false tooth. "Yay Mommy!" cheered Susan. "You're gonna get some money!" added Latoya.
* "Mommy, I want to be a dinosaur. I don't want to be a person anymore." stated Little Susan.
* "Mom, when we were out with Dad I got scared by a KILLER DEER on the train tracks." Nicholas said, his voice rising with alarm.
"What? There are no killer deers." I questioningly shot back.
"Ya," said Daniel "it's a bird."
"Oh, a KILL DEER" I wisely informed them.
"Ya, it flapped it's wings and made it's noise at me." concluded Nicholas.
* The Baby stood in her bedroom door way, naked and grinning. "I peed." she proudly proclaimed. "What?!?" I shouted "Where?" I hollered as I raced to the bedroom to search out the offending puddle. I looked high and low, under pillows and around stuffies, but couldn't find the mess ... then I happened across it.... in the green tupperware bowl that usually houses her FP Little People. At least she peed "in" something rather than just on the floor or bed :)
Introducing a new area of the tank.... Subscribers Stories! Do you have a funny or cute story to share? Want to have it included in the "Subscribers Stories" section of The Fish Bowl? Just email me your story and I'll include it in a future edition of the Fish Bowl. Please include your name and email address with all submissions.
* I was watching Abby yesterday and put Dora on for her while she snacked on some chips. At the end of the episode Dora always asks "What was your favourite part of our adventure?" to which she promptly replied "Eatin chips!"...AHAHAHA!!
(Thank you Kristen M of Chatham for that submission)
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Blessings to you - from my Fish Bowl to yours :)
Posted by Lucy at 12:23 PM