Tuesday, June 1, 2010

"WHOSE poo is it?" I asked .... afraid to hear the answer.

I could hear the babyish sound of Little Susan's voice rhythmically chanting "kick shuffle kick shuffle kick shuffle...." I assumed she was practicing for her upcoming dance recital. As I looked down to see what my little one was upto I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud and putting a stop to her performance. Little Susan was kneeling on the floor in front of our old dog Buzzy, she had his front paws in her hands and she was moving them back and forth "kick shuffle kick shuffle" she sang. Poor Buzzy sat very still looking up at me with bewilderment in his eyes. It was that same kind of look in his eyes that he had the morning after his "big operation" when he bent down to clean himself and realized "something wasn't quite right" ..... that "what is THIS?" kind of look. My poor old Shih Tzu had had that look on more than a few occassions.... like this week for example... I have probably mentioned before that I tend to get a little neglectful toward my old dog with seven kiddlings to care for, and often don't find the time to take him to the groomer until he is walking into walls because he can't see through his fur or sliding all over the floor because his nails need a trim. I usually feel so ashamed that I've let him go for so long that I have to bathe him and brush him out before I dare take him to the groomer for fear they'd call puppy protective services on me for such neglect. One time I had my hubby drop him off at the groomer for me as I was running on a tight schedule. I was partly embarassed by how dirty my old guy was (the dog, not the Hubby) and I didn't want to have to face "that look" from the groomer..... the kind that says "do you even LIKE your dog?" So I was relieved when he dropped him off and picked him up for me. But when he put my old pup on the floor and he began to prance around and show off his new hair cut I was stunned.... "where did his ears go?" I asked. "What are you talking about?" my Hubby replied. "His ears..... the long fur on his ears... it's gone - where did it go?" I said in disbelief. "I got it cut off." He said matter of factly. "If I'm paying THAT much for a hair cut for the dog I am going to get my money's worth." He stated. I couldn't believe it. My Shih Tzu looked like some wire hair terrier. "He is SUPPOSED to have long fur on his ears and tail - it's his breed - I like it that way." I argued..... but it didn't matter .....  the damage was done. Although I appreciated my hubby's help in this situation, I made a mental note to do it myself next time.
So this time as I began to prepare Buzzy for the groomers - bathing and brushing him (I KNOW that's what I pay them for... but it's just a weird thing with me okay?!) I realized the base of his tail was very matted. Great, not only do I bring a dirty and stinky dog to the groomer but now he has matted fur as well - what kind of a pet owner am I? I wondered out loud how his tail got looking like this and just as the words left my mouth I remembered sometime the week before that Shane and Nicholas came racing down the stairs to tell me something they thought was so funny. They said Daniel was playing with a poo ball in his bed. (ya, you heard it right) "WHAT?!" I hollered. "Ya, it's hard and round and it was on his bed" they giggled breathlessly. Fearing the worst I ventured to ask "Where did this poo ball come from?" They looked at me like I was insane. "Mom, it's POO!" Shane laughed "It came from...." "NEVERMIND" I cut him off,  "WHOSE poo is it?" I asked .... afraid to hear the answer. "It must be Buzzy's, he had something on his bum earlier."Nicholas said with a straight face. "(sigh) Buzzy can't get up the stairs and onto a bed he's so old. How did the poo get upstairs?" I asked. And then it hit me.... Babe our old black & tan coonhound, must have carried it up there..... SO GROSS.  Then Daniel came down stairs looking guilty and shaken. "Where is it?" I demanded. "I put it in the toilet." he said in a small voice. "I didn't know what it was, I though it was a ball" He explained "but it smelled bad." Hahahahaha, I tried to hold it together but I almost choked. "Go disinfect and wash your hands, right now." I blurted out with tears streaming down my cheeks. {Lord, I thank you for children - I can't imagine how boring my life would be without them.}
So Buzzy's dirty bottom and matted tail were likely a result of him being a little "under the weather" last week. Needless to say I bathed him and used ALOT of conditioner on him to try to loosen that matted mess but it wouldn't let go. So I did what any reasonable person would do - I cut it out with scissors. He pranced around the kitchen thinking he was "all that and a bag of chips", he didn't even know everyone was laughing at him because of his stumpy nearly-naked tail. Poor Buzzy, all he really had left was his dignity ...... Now I have to wait until the fur around the base of his tail grows back before I can take him to the groomers for a haircut... what on earth would they think if I took him looking like THIS?
Eating meals together as a family is a big deal to us. Even if it's just hanging out on the back deck sharing warmed up leftovers. That's just what we did one night this week ... before the rain of course. I like the fresh air and freedom of not being surrounded by walls. The little girlies like to watch the "birdies" come to the bird feeder and eat dinner with us. The boys like the fact that they can "accidentally" drop food on the ground and not have to worry about cleaning it up .... one of the dogs will take care of it. I just like the casual relaxing atmosphere...... that is until those pesky mosquitos show up.  I first noticed the little girls squirming at their little table under the crab apple tree. "What are you scratching at?" I enquired. "A skeeto bite bit me!" said Little Susan, her voice full of distain. "Ya, the skeeto bites are trying to eat us." voiced Latoya. "Just squash them." I offered, and went back to eating. Then The Teenager started scratching and swatting at "skeeto bites" too. "Mom, can I go eat inside?" she asked. "No, certainly not, we eat together.... just finish up quickly."  I said. "I've got an idea!" my Hubby announced, and marched into the house with a look of determination on his face.
 He came back out moments later with a small handheld device that reminded me of some kind of scanner thing they used to use on the old school Star Trekk movies. "What's THAT?" I asked. "It's a Therma Cell Mosquito repellant device." He stated. "Oooh, and what is that supposed to do exactly?" I teased. "Well, it disperses repellant into the air. It is butane powered and portable. I use it for hunting and it works great." He explained. I have to admit I was disappointed. It looked much more interesting than that.... why couldn't it have been some sweet electronic device that sends sound waves into the air stunning and immobilizing those pesky "skeeto bites" and rendering them sterile and maimed? Wouldn't that be much more satisfying than just a glorified "portable mosquito coil?" He proudly set it on the table and we all watched with anticipation..... as a mosquito flew toward the smoking device. "WOW, that mosquito musn't know that he's not supposed to be here huh?" I offered. "Well it takes a few minutes to warm up." He defensively stated.
The boys were still being bitten and they complained loudly. My hubby told them that it only has a fifteen foot radius and that they should come closer. So we all hovered around the patio table watching the wisp of smoke rise from the odd looking device (as we swatted at "skeeto bites" that were flying around the back of our heads.) Then my Hubby picked up the Therma Cell and waved it up and down around each one of us - I felt like I was in a Catholic church service and the priest was swinging the incense.LOL. As he "scanned" the baby I mustered up my best Dr. McCoy impersonation and announced "She's dead Jim." He was not impressed with my humour. As a "skeeto bite" buzzed around the baby's head I suggested that "this thing must only work for hunters" as I started clearing the table and ushering the kids indoors and away from the annoying "skeeto bites." After all, it IS my job to protect them.....
Last night I was quickly reminded that you can't always protect them from everything. The little girls were playing quietly in their bedroom after dinner time while I helped the boys get showered and ready for bed. Suddenly there was a heart stopping moment when we all heard that awful "THUD" and felt the floor shake. It only took a split second for me to visualize what had just happened in the other room. You could tell by the sound that someone had just fallen a great distance, hard. I pushed past the kiddlings and raced into the girl's room to find Little Susan on her hands and knees staring up at me with a look of shock on her face, blood trickling from her mouth and her face already beginning to swell and redden. She took a deep breath and started sobbing as she reached for me. I picked her up and ran to the kitchen and laid her on the counter barking orders to the other children who had gathered around quietly with horrified looks on their faces. "Get some clean wash cloths, get me an ice pack..." I directed. Latoya admitted that they were playing on the top bunk (completely forbidden but obviously ignored) and that Little Susan was jumping on the bed when she just fell over the railing and  onto the floor below. As I checked over her body for signs of trauma I worked to stop the bleeding in her mouth - Praise God it was only a split inside her lip. No loose teeth, nothing else broken, not a single impact mark anywhere else on her little body... just her face. It seems she took the full impact of the fall all on the right side of her face. Her face hit the floor before the rest of her body - but she was okay.
Thank God for the area rug, Thank God that the ceiling fan was off, Thank God that she is so small and flexible. I stood silently amazed as I held an ice pack to her face knowing fully well that she could have easily snapped her neck upon landing or a miriad of other terrible, tragic things...... but she was okay..... still sobbing and swollen and certainly sore but alive and in one piece. Thank you Lord for being so merciful. I later took Little Susan to the mirror to show her the damage. She stared at her face in awe then opened her mouth to examine the cut. Her eyes grew wide and she looked horrified. "I don't want to fall again." I silently prayed that all of life's lessons wouldn't be this intense for my kiddlings.... how will I ever survive?
Here are a few funnies from our house to yours:
* My Teenager is beautiful, smart, friendly, funny, trustworthy, respectful and obedient .... but she's also a big chicken when it comes to little creepy crawlies (Sshhh, she takes after her Daddy). The Teenager and I were on our way to do some serious shopping - without the usual parade of kiddlings in tow - FREEDOM! We had just gotten into the van when she let out a shriek "A Spider, A Spider!" Wow, I thought we must have a tarantula in here somewhere..... good Lord, get out of the van and save yourself...... "Where is it?" I hollered. "There!" she screamed pointing to the window. The teeny weeny spider was on her window - on the OTHER SIDE of the glass. I stared at her in amazement. "Are you for real?" I asked. "Well I thought it was on the inside of my window" she admitted sheepishly. "Oh, like this?" I quickly countered as I pressed the button to lower the window. "NOOOOOOOOOO!" she screamed and wriggled into the seat. "MOM, DON"T DO THAT PLEASE!!!!" she hollered as she tried to climb out of her seat and onto my lap - trying to get as far away from the tiny Arachnid as she could possibly get. "Good Lord girl get a grip" I teased as I rolled back up the window. She settled herself into the seat and only jumped a few dozen times whenever I reached for something - thinking I was reaching for that button again. Hahahaha. Once we got to the store I had to coax her out of the van.... she was sure the little bug was waiting in hiding for her to step out of the vehicle. It seems my big girl isn't so big after all :)

* As Little Susan was getting out of the bathtub and drying herself off, Daniel opened the door to the bathroom to "go" cause it was a "mergency." "Get out! Don't see my makeit Daniel!" Little Susan shrieked. Which translated means = "Get out! Don't look at me naked Daniel!"

* My dad shared a funny I wanted to include here. My little brother (Yes I do have a little brother. He is 30 years younger than me - "interesting" I know.... your virility seems less and less impressive the older you get, doesn't it Dad? Hahaha. Anyway...) My little brother sometimes sleepwalks. My Dad said he was at the computer the other night and James crawled out of bed and quietly wandered over to the laundry hamper in his room and began picking away at a sticker on top of the lid.... just standing there picking....when my Dad asked him what he was doing he mumbled something about "picking the sticker", Dad called him over and gave him a hug and kiss and sent him back to bed. He relayed that he was overwhelmed by the pure innocence of his sleepwalking boy, in that moment he was the sweetest, most cuddly kid - no attitude, not back talk, no ulterior motives..... don't you wish all kids would sleep walk a little more often?

* Daniel came home from school obviously very excited to share some news with me. "Rachael's baby is so cute!" He announced. "It's head is this small." He said, indicating a small size with his hands. "Oh, she must be brand new." I reasoned. To which he replied "Yes, they just "got it" a week ago." Hahaha, Being a former foster & adoptive family, in our house children are acquired - NOT born.

We are still in Avon Campaign 15. The order will be submitted on Tuesday June 8th. Feel free to browse the brochure online and let me know if there's anything I can get for you :) Delivery will be made on Friday June 11th.
If you’re on FaceBook I have an Avon Group set up. Stop by for a visit.
I also have a new Avon Website…… a wide variety of methods to shop Avon :)

Have an incredible blessed week!


  1. Love reading your blogg again you got me into tears lol tell the teenager that she better sleep with her head covered they like to crawl in your mouth and nose when you sleep lol just kidding !! you know I love yahh honey wink wink your kiddos are all a delight sis and I love the way you draw your readers into hte storys too Great job as always love yahhh

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  4. Sorry to anyone who had posted a comment if it is now removed.... my daughter, the "Teenager" tried to add a comment on here using my computer and instead deleted a few things...... Sheesh! Teenagers these days :)
    Feel free to repost your comments - I won't let her near the computer, I promise :)