Tuesday, May 11, 2010

"Please repeat the command......Sorry no match found."

I thank God for my cell phone...... it has saved my bacon on more than one occassion. I enjoy the modern convenience of "being connected" to anyone at anytime especially while on the go with a van load of kiddlings in tow. I also respect and applaud the new laws prohibiting cell phones and other handheld devices from being used while driving..... and who wouldn't? You had better know Jesus personally (or you'll wish you had) if you ever even consider having a car accident with me while texting..... those are MY BABIES in the van, don't you DARE put their lives at risk because you can't pull over to take a phone call. The best solution ever invented was the hands-free blue tooth device for your visor. What an excellent little gadget to use with your cell phone on the road ... hands free cell phone use to keep drivers less distracted ..... but I wonder if these sweet little devices are the number one cause of road rage in Canada? I have a sneaky suspicion that they are .... at least in my neck of the woods. If you were a fly on the wall (or window) in  my van in the middle of the afternoon, this is the kind of conversation you might be privy to over hear:
Me: (pressing the hands-free button)
Blue Tooth: "Say a command"
Me: "Call Aunt Ree"
Blue Tooth: Beep Beep "Did you say Call Pizza Pizza?"
Me: "No! Call Aunt Ree"
Blue Tooth: "Please repeat he command"
Me: "Call Aunt Ree!" (adding a different voice fluctuation to the last syllable of her name)
Blue Tooth: "Did you say Call CIBC?"
Me: "NO! Call Aunt Ree!!! What the heck - can't you understand english?"
Blue Tooth: "Sorry, no match found"
Me: (pressing the hands-free button a little more forcefully this time)
Blue Tooth: Beep beep, "Say a command"
Me: "Call..... Aunt.... Uh.... call.....GRRRRR....forget it, you won't understand anyway!"
Blue Tooth: "Please repeat the command"
Me: ("ahem", clearing my throat, rolling up the window to reduce outside noise, and shushing the kiddlings) "Call Aunt Ree"
Blue Tooth: "Did you say call Aunt Bonnie?"
Me: "NOOOOOO, that's NOT what I said! I want to call Aunt Ree, Aunt Ree...not Aunt Bonnie - what is wrong with you?  Can't you understand what I'm saying??? Why do you always do this to me?!?!?!"
Little Susan: "Mommy, you're silly..... they can't hear you." (giggle)
Blue Tooth: "Please repeat the command."
Me: "I'm tired of repeating myself, just call anyone, I don't care who you call I am no longer interested in talking on the phone"
Blue Tooth: "Did you say Call Home? Home.... calling....."
Me: NOOOOOOO, don't call home! Don't call anyone. Hang up! I'm DONE"
Blue Tooth: "Did you say Call Mr. Sun?"
Blue Tooth: "Please repeat the command"
Me: "Never mind..... I don't want to make a call anymore .... we're already here"
Blue Tooth: "Sorry , no match found."
Me: *Sigh* stupid technology......
Yes, that's really how it goes. Ask my dad. He is doubled over with laughter throughout the whole one-sided conversation with my device. Nothing's more frustrating than not being understood.... even by an expensive piece of plastic.

Speaking of frustrations........
The big kids came in from school and went about starting their homework. The little ones kept coming into the kitchen and getting underfoot while I tried to prepare dinner. Aunt Ree and Papa were having a tea with me while I directed traffic in the kitchen. I was all ready to make shepherds pie for dinner when I reached for the glass baking dishes under the sink...... there was only one there. Where in the world did the other one get off to? I thought. I opened cupboards, checked the fridge, looked under the sink again.... nothing. So I called the kids into the kitchen (since they do the dishes most nights as designated on our "chore chart" hanging on the fridge) "Where is the other glass baking dish?" I asked no one in particular. Every child stared back at me blankly. I raised my eyebrows further and still no response. "Shane, Nicholas, Daniel..... have any of you seen my glass baking dish?" I asked them. "No, I didn't wash it last" said Shane. "I think Daniel dried it last time" offered Nicholas. "I did not!" said Daniel. "Did anyone break it?" I asked. "No, we didn't even wash it." said Shane. "Alright" I said. "Since you're the only ones who do the dinner dishes, and now one of the dishes is missing, you're going to stay in the kitchen until it's found. Now look for it please." The boys all moved together to each cupboard and took turns opening doors, pulling out drawers, liftting tea towels...... no glass baking dish. I was getting frustrated. I couldn't remember the last time I used it..... but I knew it wasn't where it was supposed to be (Yes, that's a very big deal to me.... everything has it's place.... but that's another subject to blog about someday) "Please find the glass baking dish," I sighed "I need it to finish preparing dinner." "But we don't now where it is and we've looked everywhere!" whined the boys. "What about the drawer under the stove?" offered Papa. "No, we don't use that drawer at all." I answered as I slid it open to reveal an empty drawer. "Well, could it have gotten forgotten in the oven?" Asked Papa. "No..... I don't remember the last time I ....... (opening the oven door)...... "Oh my goodness!" ........ (staring unbelievingly at the glass baking dish *filled with a turkey pie of sorts* in the oven) ...... "Ewwwww, that's so gross!" I caught a whiff of something rancid as I pulled the baking dish out of the oven. "How long has THAT been in there?" I wondered out loud. I couldn't remember when I had baked that meal.....what a waste. I often cook two or more meals at a time and freeze or refrigerate one for another day - I guess this one never made it to the fridge. The boys wanted to examine it closer and were all grossed out by the carrots staring back at them through the bottom of the dish. I explain how poisonous this pie is since none of us even remember when it was made..... and they "ohh" and "ahhhh" and "ewww" as I dump it out into the garbage pail. My sister reassures me that "this sort of thing can only happen to me" as we're a busy family on the go. I know this will one day be a topic of conversation at the dinner table when my kiddos are older and they come home to visit..... "hey Mom, remember when you forgot that meal in the oven and it started rotting...."
We're making memories our kids will treasure for the rest of their lives :)
Here are a few funnies from our house to yours......
* One night we were watchign movies with the kiddos and the little girls started screaming..... "a Bean Bug {June bug} came through the Scream {screen} and into the living room and the girls were afraid it was going to bite them and bleed them {like mosquitos do}. Hahaha
* One the way to school one morning Daniel stood still sniffling. When the teenager caught up to him and asked him what was wrong he started bawling and pointed to a crispy squirrel squished flat on the road. "That poor squirrel, that poor squirrel, he is dead now...." The teenager quickly pointed out that the squirrel had been there for well over a week now and he wasn't in any pain.
* The teenager came into the kitchen rolling her eyes. "What's up?" I asked. "Daddy..... he told me that "Hambush" joke again ..... that's three times I've had to listen to him tell it now." "Why don't you remind him that he's already told you the joke?" I offered. "Oh Mom, he's so excited to tell me everytime...." she said. Hahahaha.
* One of our boys takes medication regularly. Sometimes his ears get very red and the children used to comment about it. To keep the other kiddos from teasing him, we explained that when his ears got red when he needed to have his meds. One day Little Susan came up to me, very concerned. In a serious voice she informed me that "Daniel needed hims pills, him gots red ears again."
* While driving to Aunt Ree's house along highway 40, Little Susan was facinated by the road construction going on. She asked "Why the sign boys are there Mama?" She was referring to the guys who hold the signs and direct the traffic. I explained what they did and why their jobs were important. On the way back home she randomly blurted out "They need to eat their lunch!" "Who needs to eat their lunch?" I asked. "Them sign boys, they need to eat their lunch." (She had noticed one of them had a blue and white cooler on the road next to him.) As we drove by she hollered out the window "Thank you sign boy."
* On our way home from Aunt Ree's house last week we had stopped by the side of the road to watch a couple wild turkeys in the field. As we drove out there yesterday Little Susan asked "Where da turkeys in da field?" I told her I didn't know and she said "They're hiding wif da deers in da trees cause my daddy's gonna shoot them and I'm gonna eat them. Yum, Yum." (She makes her daddy proud.)

The campaign 13 Avon order was just submitted and now it's time to begin Campaign 14. Check out my Avon Business page or my website to browse a brochure. Let me know if there's anything I can get for you! The next order will be placed on Tuesday May 25th.  I am also looking to add new members to my Avon personal sales team and am offering to pay the initial start up cost for anyone who is interested in signing up in the month of May - Let me know if you're interested so I can take care of that for you. Email me if you have any questions about it.
Have an incredibly blessed week - I look forward to sharing about our upcoming anniversary with you next time :)

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