Friday, February 10, 2012

Stop This Ride I Want To Get Off!

With tears streaming down my cheeks I lean against the bathroom door and let me body slide down it's length and onto the cool ceramic tile floor. A long frustrated sigh escapes my lips while the low rumble of the bus pulling away reverberates in my head. It's only 8:30 am and I feel like I'm losing it already.
It began the evening before when the kids went out to play in the freshly fallen snow. It was the only real significant amount of accumulation we've had this season and they were so excited to roll snowballs across the yard anticipating the many snowmen they would create. Certainly no play time outdoors would be complete without spending time in the "Forest", the small area of pine trees at the back of our property where the kiddlings like to play for hours creating new games and having many "adventures." It's the place where all imaginations thrive and grow!
It had been so mild and wet prior to the snowfall so undoubtedly there was a whole lot of mud hiding under the fresh white stuff. Rest assured my kiddos found it. You have to wonder what goes through their minds at the precise moment there left foot pops freely from their boot while that boot is magically sucked under the cold dark mud. In a perfect world the precious child would gasp with surprise and wonder and would precariously balance on their opposite foot while lovingly calling out to their more-than-eager-to-please sibling for assistance in retrieving their dislodged boot..... but in MY world things are much different. Here's how it PROBABLY went down... Kid A likely threw a snowball at the head of Kid B who in turn gathered two or three not-so-innocent siblings together and joined in an evil plot against Kid A to exact revenge on him for said thrown snowball. Kid A, having more than a couple brain cells likely realized the dire straits he was in and quickly planned his route of escape through the "forest" (the land of hidden mud holes and wet places.) Kids B, C, D, and E
probably surrounded his only logical exit (along the wide open, unobstructed path) leaving Kid A with no other choice than to dart between the trees in search of safety. Ultimately landing him in the very large, hard-to-miss-seeing-it, mud puddle. Where both boots would get "themselves" stuck fast while Kid A's body continued to run forward until the bitter cold under his barefeet ('cause of course the socks came off too) happened to register some degree of feeling to his brain making him aware of the problem down under.... a lack of protection from the elements on his lower extremities. By that time the other Kids in pursuit would have caught up to him and taken advantage of the situation.... by bombing the poor child with a barrage of snowballs. Kid A, being a little O.C.D. and needing to complete everything in a specific order, (with snowballs flying past his head) would sulk back to the spot his boots first left his body, and would shake each one out and put them back on, being sure to tuck his pants back into the tops of the boots (to keep the snow out) all the while whining loudly about how "not fair" life was and how "everybody" is "always" out to get him.  And then those terrifying words that usually put a stop to most sibling "fun" would be heard..."I'M TELLING MOM!" Everyone freezes in their tracks as the snowballs are dropped to the ground. It was the oldest one I'm sure, who likely reminded him that he, Kid A, would be in just as much trouble as the rest of them for all the mud that mysteriously fastened itself to his clothes. So a truce is called between them all and they go about playing some other sort of war game in the snow and forget about their wet, muddy, and cold body parts, because no one remembers those bothersome things in the heat of the moment. Until.... they hear the "Time to come in, it's supper time!" call booming from the house. It's HER!
And she's not going to appreciate the wet muddy mess they've gotten themselves into - although they had a marvelous time in the process. Panic sets in and they begin wiping at their coats and snow pants in a furry. Trying to shake off or at least cover up any visible "dirties." They move toward the house in a cluster, trying to hide their own mess among the mass of coats, snowpants, scarves, mitts and hats. They are oddly quiet and helpful toward eachother in removing outer clothing and putting their boots on the shelves. The older ones take the hats and mitts downstairs to the "drying place" in the laundry room while the younger ones get cleaned up for supper. After a few moments all are settled around the table for the evening meal. With pink cheeks and sweaty hairlines (and a few absent socks) the air is filled with chatter about the school day, the bus ride, plans for tomorrow and on and on....but no mention of their outdoor adventures. It isn't until the next day that I discover how much fun they really had.
It is one of "those" mornings. You know the kind. Where everyone is running behind, nothing is right and most of them are grumpy and complaining about something. The bickering back and forth in the morning is overwhelming today for some reason and Latoya (who goes into a vegetative state and cannot talk or move when feeling stressed) is not cooperating and is functioning at an all time SLOW pace this morning. Infact, HERE COMES THE BUS! I start yelling to no one in particular but to everyone at the same time. "GET YOUR SNOW PANTS AND BOOTS ON, NOW! let's go, the bus is here, move it, move it, hurry up!" Nicholas and Latoya are wandering around in the garage without coats on while the other children are falling over eachother to get their boots on while racing out of the garage and down the driveway toward the waiting bus. Latoya is sobbing with one sock on and a naked foot poised in mid air over a waiting boot. "Wait! Hold on... where's your other sock?" I query rather loudly. "I don't know." she sobs as snot slides down her face and she swipes at it with the back of her hand. "Wait here!" I demand. "At least get your other boot on and grab your coat. Nicholas, where is your coat?" "I don't know" he mumbles unconvincingly. "What do you mean 'I don't know'?" I shout as I run down the stairs to fetch another pair of socks for Latoya. The other kiddlings are all on the bus and it's waiting at the end of the driveway for the two missing children, that Shane has assured the driver are coming. As I grabbed the socks and spun around to fly back up the stairs to send them on their way something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. Next to the washing machine, stashed under a pile of dirty laundry is a familiar looking sleeve... that we've been hunting for already this morning but have been unable to find. I uncover the the hidden treasure to discover the two missing coats. "WHAT IS THIS?!?" I bark incredulously. I am shaking inside with disbelief. Here I have wasted my time hunting all over the place for two missing coats so my darling kiddlings will be warm and dry and make it to the bus on time and despite my best efforts the bus has arrived, the coats could not be found and the children are not only late, but are holding up the rest of the kids causing them all to be late .... and NOW I FIND THIS?!?! Latoya and Nicholas look up at me sheepishly. "Our coats were wet and muddy...." Nicholas began. "I can see that!" I bellowed. "Why didn't anyone tell me the coats needed to be cleaned  lastnight? I could have washed them and had them ready for this morning! But now there is no time!" I ranted on and on as I dug through the box of small clothes I was donating to the second hand store, and found Daniel's old Buzz Lightyear coat and tossed it to Latoya, "put this on!" I demanded and I shoved her back pack toward her and the new pair of socks I had gone
downstairs to get for her in the first place....."Put these on in the bus!" "But this is a boy's coat...." she whined at me. "WHAT?!" I shouted louder than I should have..... "I don't care if it's Curious George's coat - put it on! You were the one who got your coat muddy and wet and HID it in the basement and didn't tell me so I could clean it for you.... now put the coat on and get on that bus!" I countered. "Nicholas wisely accepted the hunting jacket I handed him without a word. He put it on and raced toward the bus. "Put your hat and mitts on!" I called after him. "Hurry up Latoya.... GO!" I urged her loudly. She walked slowly down the driveway toward the waiting bus, shoulders slumped, back pack dragging on the ground (the scraping noise telling me that the bottom of the bag was already torn open and a book threatened to evacuate the bag at any time) and sobbing the whole time about the coat being a "boy's coat." Oh the drama. As I watched her board the bus in that "poor me" fashion I caught sight of another irritant.... the snow pants... the whole pile of them.... sitting right there on the floor.... no one grabbed their snowpants like I asked. What else is new, I know. As the doors on the bus closed I reached up for the button to close the garage door  "Have a great day! I Love you!" I called out to my precious babes as the bus took them away......
*Here's a few funnies from Our House to Yours *
* "Mama, are these Granny - Mae apples? asked Little Susan (Granny Smith apples)

* Papa had lunch with us one noon hour. While preparing to eat he bowed his head in prayer and asked a blessing. When he was finished, Little Susan piped up and asked "Is that in Spanish Papa?" LOL.

* The Teenager (my right hand girl and a great source of help) was assisting me in showering her little sisters. Little Susan made a remarkable observation that still causes us to giggle. To the Teenager she said..."We're little girls so we have little boomies (boobies), when we're teenagers we will have a little bigger boomies like you, when we're adults we'll have much bigger boomies like Mommy" She said with wide eyes.  Then her expression changed to one of sadness or thoughtfulness - I couldn't quite tell. "But then when we're older like Grandma we'll have little boomies again." She concluded.

* "Mama, look at the Turkey Vouchers!" little Susan exclaimed. (turkey vultures)

* While watching the "Grinch" over the holiday Shane remarked that he "likes the real people version better than the laminated version."

* Little Susan ran into my room breathless and anxious to inform me that she "fell on Buzzy (our pup) but he didn't squeak!"

* Daddy asked "what time is it?" And I replied "8:43 am." "What is that in military time?" he inquired further. "8:43 am SIR!" I was quick to respond.

* Shane hollered to me from the livingroom, "Mom, can I make a Oh My Gami?" (oragami)

* The Baby likes to wear her EAR MUFFINS outside when it's cold.

* Little Susan was showing off her skills. "Look Mama, I can do a backwards Crap (crab) Does crap start with a B or a P?" She asked. "It starts with a C." I corrected. "No," She replied. "At the end." "It ends with a B." I informed.

* Shane was filling us in on his day at school and telling us how everyone had to bring in canned goods to get into the school dance. He said "Everyone brought a can of good things."

* Latoya, our fashion diva has gotten particular about her hairstyle in the morning. "Can I have a little bit of hair at the side of my face mama?" she asked.

* Nicholas tattled on his big brother, "Mom, Shane is hyptonizing the dog!" (hypnotizing)

Subscriber's Stories

Introducing another area of the tank.... Subscribers Stories! Do you have a funny or cute story to share? Want to have it included in the "Subscribers Stories" section of The Fish Bowl? Just email me your story and I'll include it in a future edition of the Fish Bowl. Please include your name and email address with all submissions.

* "Oh my! Gabby just asked if the dinosaurs were alive when I was little!"
Thanks to Veronica A from Windsor for this submission

* Babysitting Logan tonight and Kobi asks if Logan is gonna be sleeping in 'the baby kennel' tonight.. I chuckled and looked at David then David asks 'the kennel?' and Kobi replies 'yeah, ya know.. The baby kennel that is in your room that our baby is gonna sleep in when it comes!'  Kobi I think you meant to say crib.
Thanks to Stephani S for this submission

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1 comment:

  1. Poor Mommy :( If only I was there to help you.
    Amazing blog as always! Great funnies :)
    Love ya lots!